mik and i took pictures in the grave yard. i like how they turned out. she wanted to get some of her and her umbrella. we thought about starting some sort of a project to clean the graveyard up. it looks awful. mik suggested me and her taking pictures of my little sister(s) IN the graveyard, and then selling them to raise money to clean it up.

"i love sleep. my life has the tendency to fall apart when I'm awake, you know?"
- ernest hemingway

i slept most of the day away. when i woke up, i felt sick. i didn't have anything to eat until about 9pm. there just wasn't anything in the house to eat before then. i regret sleeping all day, now. i'm not really very tired.
i've decided to go back on a diet. wish me luck.


p.s. heavensmetal, i'm going to miss you.

most of the time, when i call someone my "best friend" i consider them to be family; either a brother or a sister figure to me. however, truly, my very best friends have always been my family: my sisters.

i have two sisters. i don't talk about them much, atleast, not in this journal. but even though i don't talk about them often, they mean the world to me.
haley, my younger sister (now 7) is a sweetheart. she can been a little demon, and is more often than not, but i love her. it's a little annoying when she comes in my room in the middle of the night, wakes me up, and asks if she can snuggle with me...but at the same time, it's so adorable. i just wouldn't be the person i am today without her.
brandy is my older sister. she'll be 23 in december. i don't know of a word in the english language to describe the amount of gratitude i feel towards her. she has been there for me (and haley) when i've needed her, especially in this past year and a 1/2. she is only 22, and has become a mother for both me, and my younger sister. she has gone beyond the duty of an older sister. even though i don't always show it, i love her more than most can imagine.

( snip, snip )

brandy, paul, and i went shopping tonight. we had made plans to go see a movie, but, seeing as how we all three confessed we're tired of seeing movies, we made a detour to the mall. brandy wanted to look in a bargain store for "work clothes." while there, i glanced at the bedding. they had the cutest bed sheets, and, as it turns out, they were on sell: $6. practically a steal! when we got home, the first thing i did was undress my bed and (try) to put the new sheets on. sour luck, i have. they were the wrong size. the bag was marked "queen", but the tag on the sheets inside were "full." brandy said that we can take them back sometime this weekend, and exchange them.

i'm thinking of rearranging my room. it seems so cluttered. i wish i could store some of my furniture. i don't even use my dresser. plus i've got my squirrel's cage in here now, and i don't really have room for a piece of furniture i don't need. well, to be honest, there's plenty of room. i'm just a minimalist, and a bit obsessive compulsive, and i hate wasting space. at our previous home, i had a room twice the size of this one, and still had less furniture out. i had pushed my dresser and trunk into my closet, and put my TV &other electronic things on the trunk. (i eliminated the entertainment center.) after i put all that in my closet, i had my bed, my desk, and my bookshelf out. i felt so much better. then i moved here, and i'm bombarded with TONS of furniture. here, i have a bigger bed (i had a full, i have a queen now), a nightstand, a dresser with a towering mirror, an entertainment center, my squirrel's cage, and my bookcase. i wanted to put atleast my bookcase in my closet, to give me a little bit of room, but my mom wouldn't hear any of that. i just feel so crowded...and i still have unpacked boxes stacked at the foot of my bed. it's awful.

school. well, school starts back aug. 1, and i've still not gotten any registration information. i've gotten my summer reading assignment: "wuthering heights" and "jane eyre." i decided to start wuthering heights first, seeing as how i have more of a chance of actually finishing it, than i do jane eyre. i've been such a procrastinator lately. i'm still on the third page of the book, even though i've had it for two weeks. it's just, so horribly boring. and i can always find something else to do, rather than read it. we have some reader response questions with the novels and i'm a little confused. i've never had a summer reading assignment; before i started home-school, i was too young to have advanced classes in specific subjects. the directions to the questions are as follows:
( pre-ap summer reading assignment )

i'm a little nervous. there's no way i'm going to be able to read both novels and complete that assignment. absolutely no way. then again, i guess teachers assume students go online and get cliff notes to do most of it. i hate being a hard worker.

i'm feeling stressed now. i think i'll go to bed and attempt to wake early in the morning and read. wish me good luck!


ohyeah. i started messing around with this thing: GoPets. it's looks pretty cute. try it out!

i've pulled an all-nighter, again. paul is going to make fun of me. i just seem to get more done at night. it's so much more quiet...well, until the alarm clocks start going off.




those are all of the pictures i've gotten loaded. i'm being lazy. i just don't like a whole bunch of the other's, plus, those show (e-friends) who i'm talking about when i post.

todo;
> call brandi j.
> mail ethan, vince letters
> library
> READ WUTHERING HEIGHTS!
> laundry

i'm about to pass out. i'm so going to bed.

i had a dream, about a classmate. him and i were not really friends during school...we'd talked, because we were both on the newspaper staff, but that was about it. he also graduarated this year, so i'm sure i won't be seeing too much of him anymore. i had thought he was nice to look at. he treated me like a younger sister; he'd call me names, but always said hello to me. his name was justin b., but in my dream, his last name was different. (i can't remember what it was how.) i even called him by his last name in the dream one or two times, which i never do -- refer to people the same age as me by their last name, that is. (it feels awkward.) well, i'm forgetting things as i type, so here goes:

( solong )

OHMYGOD! mik! i was playing this mix CD that i found at the library (litterally, found)...and you won't guess what song is on it....indian outlaw. haha!

my computer is dying from all the spyware. i've got to get something from mik.

grandmother's checkout day has been extended AGAIN, until tomorrow. the insurance company is working on getting it extended even further. she's been in a hotel for 16 days now. if i were her, i'd be sick of seeing the same room.

dinner and movies with brandy and paul.

went to new mexican resturant. we were a little early for the movie so brandy and i looked around at a couple of stores. she found a really nice cardigan for work, but i couldn't find anything. we went and saw the longest yard. it was another good movie, but i think i still liked mr. &mrs. smith more.

i finally found my camera charger...but now i've no idea where the cord is for it. i've asked brandy to let me borrow her work's, to get my pictures off. (which means my journal is going to be bombed with photos very soon)

"I am a Scottish, Indian, Redneck, Goth Pastor -- that means, if I weren't a Christian, I'd scalp your children and burn down your house, while dancing around it in a kilt and playing "Friends in Low Places" on the bagpipes." & "I am a Redneck -- I'm from Florida and can tell the difference between a Ford and John Deere tractor. 'nuff said." -- revdrsyn

He has become tonight's form of entertainment. I guess it's because I live in the south that I find it quite this amusing.

I spent quite a few hours writing an e-mail to someone rather inspirational.

My grandmother's house caught on fire a few days ago. Supposedly, the oven was left on, and her kitchen is completely wrecked. Her insurance is paying for her to stay in a hotel room. I came to keep her company.
When my grandmother and I stopped by my house to drop a few things off, my mom wasn't there. She got there a few minutes after us and just as we're about to leave, I hear her say, "Ash, we need your vet tech skills. Copper got Chevy." My dog, Copper, had gotten ahold of my mom's friend's dog, Chevrolet (Yes, I know..the name. But, you've got to understand, we're in the south). Chevy is about the sweetest dog I know. So, I feel bad that my dog hurt him, and plus...Chevy has such a good disposition, I can't help but take a few more minutes to doctor his foot up. I won't go into details, but it wasn't bad at all. I cleaned the wound up, and wrapped a bandage around it. He was a big baby about it, and insisted that my little sister give him her undivided attention as I left; he's so cute. If I didn't already have two cats, two dogs, and flying squirrel, I'd try to steal him.
My friend's dog died just yesterday. She got hit by 2 cars (long story, no need to explain). My friend has been really upset about it. She called me this morning and started crying on the phone with me. I really don't know how to help her. When my cat, Andee, died, I was more implosive than anything. I blamed myself. It's not hard for me to relate to her, just to express my sympathy. I hope she gets to feeling better.


ANNOYANCE;
- having to wait on great aunt to finish bag, which she hasn't (from what I understand) even started on.
- dial-up.
- forgetting to bring extra clothes.
- forgetting to bring reading material (i.e. Bible).
- being unable to see the keyboard because of little to no lighting.
- no music.
- excess of skinny, tan girls running around in bathing suits.
- loss of camera charger.
- a backwards sleeping schedule.

GOODTHINGS;
+ time spent with siblings.
+ friendly conversations with crush.
+ volunteer work for girl scouts & P.A.W.s.
+ Jesus still loves me.
+ keeping in touch with old friends.
+ hotel room shared with grandmother.
+ visits with grandmother to see grandfather.

p.s. happy birthday, ethan.

I don't much understand why I try keeping a journal anymore. I just can't keep my thoughts organized enough. I suppose it has something to do with refusing to be so dependant on one thing.

This morning, as my mom was taking me to school, a deer ran into the side of the car. (No, we didn't hit it; It hit us.) I immediately felt responsable, and had I not already been running late, when she asked, "Do you want to go back?" I would have said yes. It really makes me feel inhuman. How could that happen, and I not insist we turn around and check on the creature? I realize I'm making a big deal out of nothing ...But it was right next to me that it hit. It hit the passenger door; I saw it fall back. I just feel cruel for not making sure it was okay.